Accepting Blame When You Deserve It

One of the hallmarks of an emotionally mature person is their ability to accept blame when they deserve it. These people don't instantly apologize for every perceived transgression, but they accept responsibility when they know they did wrong. When they make mistakes, they own them and learn from them. If they wrong someone, they apologize and offer a solution. If you struggle to accept blame when you deserve it and want to change, here are nine steps to get you started.

1.  Recognize The Mistake You Made

You can't possibly begin to accept blame until you recognize you did something wrong. Take some time to consider how your actions affected yourself and the people around you. Carefully consider what you did, and try to think of ways to avoid making the same mistake in the future.

2.  Stop Hesitating

Once you know you have made a mistake, it is time to own up to it. It makes sense to reflect on your actions first, but it is important to address the situation promptly once that is done. The longer you wait, the more awkward things will get, and the less gracious your acceptance will seem.

3.  Address The Aggrieved Party Directly

If someone else is negatively affected by your actions or mistakes, you need to address them directly. Don't pass on a message to someone else. You don't want to post a cryptic message on social media, either. If you wronged someone, at the very least, you owe them a direct response.

4.  Don't Beat Around The Bush

When it's time to accept blame, make sure you don't waste a bunch of time skirting around the issue. People usually do this because they are nervous or trying to seem less responsible for the issue. It comes off as weak and sneaky, though. Directly identify what you did and why you are taking the blame.

5.  Don't Try to Shift The Blame

If you know you messed up, you need to accept the blame fully. This means you don't try to blame other people or circumstances for your actions. No matter what outside influences may have contributed to your actions, take the blame without trying to pass the buck.

6.  Offer a Sincere Apology Or Explanation

If your mistake hurt someone else, you should prepare to offer a sincere apology or explanation. Remember, you shouldn't use an apology or explanation to shift blame. The apology should be heartfelt and thoughtful. An explanation should only be offered if requested.

7.  Volunteer to Help Solve The Problem

Once you have accepted the blame, you should offer some sort of solution. If you can't think of a specific solution, then offer to help find one. The last thing you want to do is wait until someone asks you for a solution. Take the initiative and offer recompense.

8.  Accept The Consequences Graciously

Some things are out of your control. If you wronged someone close to you, you risk damaging the relationship. If you make a mistake with your finances, you might cost yourself money. Whatever action you have to take the blame for, there will likely be consequences you can't control. Accept these consequences, and make a plan to move on.

9.  Reflect on Your Actions

Once you have properly taken responsibility and accepted the consequences, take some time to reflect on the situation. Try to pinpoint a couple of lessons you have learned and think about how you can avoid similar situations in the future. Finally, forgive yourself and move on.

ACTIONABLE STEPS

1.  Think about any recent mistakes, arguments, or misunderstandings you have had recently.
2.  Were you to blame for any of them? It can be tough to admit blame, so you will have to think carefully and thoughtfully about this.

If you do need to take the blame, own it. Address the situation and accept the blame as soon as possible.